Cut the Chatter Red 2 is going to provide the watching world with an interesting view into my life as I handle moving to Austin and making new friends. It's also going to give me a forum to comment on the friends I have had these past four years at Auburn. Sometimes, when you think of Auburn, you don't think of too much besides football and polo wearing boys and girls. But I recently discovered that there is one pretty neat thing about Auburn. A sports champion lives here, and his name is Chris Burdesahw.
I met Chris in a smoky bar one evening. He just outdrank a 350 lb. lineman. He then looked the bartender in the eye, didn't pay and left the bar, driving all the way home to Perry. I didn't see him until a year later when he started attending Auburn. When he came back I thought he was not just a great drinker, but kind of a jerk for endangering the lives of others. This was until I went to a bar with him once. He had 4 quadruple shots of vodka (in honor of John Bonham), and he walked a line. No harm done.
But at that point I only respected Chris. That was until I watched him play soccer, which is also known as the "Beautiful Game." But when Chris plays soccer, it's f@#%ing hot.
You won't see Chris on ESPN highlight reels. You won't read about him in the paper, and you won't see him on the cover of magazines. As a goalkeeper, Chris doesn't make those athletic, fingertip saves in the last mind-jarring minutes of a soccer game. You see, Chris likes to keep his sheets clean, and when an opponent is coming in for a shot on goal, Chris reads the situation and as soon as the ball leaves the strikes foot, it's in Chris' loving care. It's all about positioning for Chris, which is why you won't see him on any ESPN Top Ten's anytime soon. There's nothing to show, unless you want to watch opponents mouth the f-bomb as the camera follows.
When the Coaches' Poll was asked, "Who is most likely to break the Madden curse?" they answered resoundingly, "Chris Burdeshaw." The reported reminded the coaches that the Madden curse in fact applied to [American] football. Bobby Knight, longtime NFL fan, picked up a folding chair and decapitated the reporter.
Most recently, some friends of ours ran a marathon. Burdeshaw remarked that this was nothing and that he could do it any day of the week. The girl marathon runners (let it be known that they ran a half marathon, 13.1 miles) challenged Chris to run a marathon. Chris, not bother to accept (or to exchange his flip-flops for running shoes), finished half a Gatorade and one Caramello brick and took of running. Chris returned from his full marathon in merely an hour over the girls' time for a half-marathon.
Folks, I am proud to blog with Champion Chris Burdeshaw. Be sure to notice his championship t-shirt. I told you I would give you proof.
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