Stay tuned...

I'm just backing up what Pope posted on earlier. My Part III is coming soon, hopefully by tonight. Girls, read it, then live it. Peace

He's Still Alive

Lately my inbox has been flooded with emails asking, "Did you fire Chris?," or "Chris' posts are so refreshing and stimulating, when is his next one coming?," or "Does Chris have a girlfriend? My phone number is XXX-XXX-XXXX!!!!"

I decided to take this opportunity to respond by saying that Chris is still alive and well, and is, in fact a champion goalkeeper. He has been goalkeeping (in the starting XI mind you) for RUF Aubun's now championship co-ed intramural soccer team and in the interest of being an excellent sportsman has taken a short sabbatical from posting duties. This comes with full approval from the editorial board, the board of directors, and the sponsors of Cut the Chatter Red 2.

As a bit of shameless blog promotion, I will be doing a feature-length story on Mr. Burdeshaw's activity on the field in the coming week or so.

Up after that is an exposé on Lauren Wilson. Is she hip, or not? How cool is she, really?

And I'm not sure what Chris has in store for us, but I'm sure it's going to be good.

Cut the Chatter Red 2 Red Alert

One of our goals here at Cut the Chatter is to provide a hall of unmanliness to show just how important it is to be manly in our modern society. Consider this video the antithesis of manliness:

The Virginia Tech Massacre

A few days ago, a disgruntled student walked through the Virigina Tech campus and slaughtered some thirty-odd students, professors, and staff. In the interests of selling advertising, media corporations sent armies of cameramen and reporters to the scene to document the carnage. This viewpoint may seem highly skeptical but I don't think it is necessarily wrong. I think this event should be covered, but not continuously for 3 days, which will turn into 3 weeks of heavy coverage overall. For all the rhetoric about anchors' hearts and prayers being with the families of the victims, they certainly aren't letting the VA Tech massacre victims grieve.

I don't want to seem insenstive to this terrible tragedy. But the only reason that people are so caught up in this event, which really has nothing to do with them, is that they routinely fail to see the gruesome results of the fall in everyday life. Perhaps that is part of the reason this crisis occurred. The death toll at Virginia Tech proves nothing that was not true last week, or the week before that. And for all of the statements about never forgetting, well, those are lies. I wonder how many people think about September 11th, or Pearl Harbor, or the Holocaust, or whatever, on a daily, weekly, or even yearly basis. I'm not saying that it's unimportant to remember, I'm just saying that most won't.

I don't want to commodify this massacre into a springboard for Christianity, but it is frustrating when news anchors ask people where God was at the time of this tragedy. For some reason, the talking heads never give a good answer (probably because they're not Tim Keller, or Alvin Plantinga) that upholds true Christian doctrine. Other times they give answers that make it seem like God is in mourning over the whole event. I've never seen a talking head reverend point to the Cross and say "That's where God is."

It's that problem of evil question all over again. How can a good and omnipotent God allow 33 students to pointlessly lose their lives, or for 3,000 to perish in a terrorist attack, or for 7 million to be systematically slaughtered in death camps across Europe?

The news anchors that dare to ask these questions don't understand that they're sitting in God's lap to slap him in the face, as Cornelius van Til made the point. I wonder how many of them are atheists. Atheists like to beat up Christians with the problem of evil. But Christians should beat up atheists with the problem of good. Christianity makes a distinction between the two, and founds this disctintion on the nature of God and his Truth revealed in his Word. But atheists have nothing to go on. "Morality" at its best is founded on evolution, which is by definition random. Even if morality comes from evolution, it is still arbitrary and pointless. In fact, it might be the next stage in evolution to give ethics a pass altogether. If true, evolution is a law, not a lawgiver. And even if morality is based on something like a feeling, as Ravi Zacharias points out, in some cultures they love their neighbors and in some they love to eat them. Their certainly must be more to morality than the presence or lack of a rumble in the belly if it is to mean anything.

And that's why Christians truly call this event evil. They see the goodness of God and see that this is something antithetical to his lovingkindness. But even if Christians are the only people who can really define good and evil, the question remains. Why did this happen? Where was God?

And this is why Christianity must be taken not only for its ethics, but also for its Truth about God. It seems trite to say that "his ways are not our ways." Certainly there is no healing in that verse. It seems like a mockery of tragedy. But Scripture isn't just a story, it is a history of redemption, and the events that it records are real. Where was God? God was watching his Son die on the Cross. Jesus is aware of the suffering humans inflict upon themselves; he suffered for even that. And after atoning for sin, he rose and ascended, promising to return one day to bring the kingdom in full, where tragedy will only be spoken of in the past tense.

It is foolish to put hope in gun control laws, an increased police presence, counselling, or community building. These things are all good and perhaps even necessary, but they will only address symptoms of human misery and not the causes. Christ addresses our root evil and can give us a taste of goodness even in our own lives. But we cannot hope in our fallen bodies and minds. Christ promises to return and bring people into glory. It is in this promise that we should hope, not in the promises of politicians. And it is from this truth and what it means for us today that we should start to address the social issues of our day, and trust in God's Word instead of political or media rhetoric. They can't do anything for Virginia Tech. The returning Christ can.

Part I: Magic

Tim's voice singing Ryan Adams lingers in my ears. It's a shame bars don't allow smoking anymore. Oh, I know the arguments, and on my communist days I support them and on my libertarian days, I argue against them. It really takes away from the whole experience. I'm happy that people take smoke breaks, so that when they walk in you can catch a whiff of the tobacco smoke and feel like you're truly at a bar.

Tonight was Kurt's 21st birthday. We fulfilled a promise we made a couple years ago to have a beer before I graduated. Tim, Alex, and Price played a mix of original and cover songs. The three of us sat alone, while the bartender talked to two patrons at the bar. Later, another group of people came in and populated the tables next to us, but we didn't know who they were. One girl was pretty cute.

That promise is funny, really. Two years ago it seemed like it would never come, as if there was an infinite distance of time and space in between the two points. We lightly mourned the fact that we wouldn't get to go out to the Ale House too often before I left for good. The summer break would turn into a permanent chasm that willl only be bridged a few more times. It is particularly ironic in that we've waited, looking forward to that moment for quite some time. Now that it's here, I wish it had never come. Satisfaction's only child is disatisfaction.

It's a shame that not many people know Sartre's quote about eternity. He advocated, like other existentialists, living a life aware of your own death so that every moment may be lived to the fullest. But then he says that without eternity, everything is meaningless. I bet that doesn't make people comfortable. I bet it freaks them out. But they scare me, because I feel like they aren't being honest. People go about their daily lives and pretend like their experiences have meaing. That frustrates me. Just because you pretend your life has meaning and that your everyday activities are worthwhile doesn't mean that somehow they actually are.

Carson Pittman interned at Georgia Southern. Fletcher and I visited some friends there last summer and I got to meet Carson. He's a pretty cool guy. He wrote once that leaving a community is like a little death. I think he's right too. Somehow leaving reminds us of our own mortality, of the mortality of our friends, and of the futility of it all. I've spent four years in Auburn cultivating friendships that will be abruptly ended with a slip of paper to hang on my wall and prove it. And isn't it bitter that in your last months in an area you make more friends?

I think Sartre's quote is pretty spot on. I think Carson's is too. I also think I am fairly logical, and the conclusion is particularly nasty. This last four years of themselves hold no meaning for me. In looking back on formerly fond memories there is neither joy nor hope. The past exists and stands against us, mocking us in the present, prophesying that in the future we will only find more occasions for disappointment, misery, loss, and despair.

The Preacher tells us that all is vanity. The word for vanity actually means vapor. That is what the past, the friendships, and the memories are. That is what now is. That is what the future will be.

Installment 2

Early praise for cut the chatter.

"word up on your blog" - Kurt Smith.

Sweet Emotion Follow-up

Martin Strel successfully swam the entire Amazon river from source to mouth. Check out his expedition here. Manly indeed.

Science and Religion

Dr. Francis Collins, head of the Human Genome Project, discusses his faith in a real and loving God and the wonderful world he created. Great read from Collins, who really does several nails smack on the head.

The SEC is for me.

While I may be moving into the heart of the Big 12 at Austin, Texas, you can bet I won't be leaving my SEC sensibilities behind. I grew up a Florida fan, and as I finish up at Auburn I think it would be a good idea to take a look at some of my SEC experiences as I've spent four years at college.

- Auburn's astonishing 13-0 season my sophomore year with 4 players going in the first round of the 2005 NFL draft. Come to think of it, that Auburn team was much like Billy Donovan's Florida Basketball team. Cadillac and Ronnie Brown threatened any defensive line with a cutting finesse or brute aggression, while Jason Campbell evolved as one of the most reliable quarterbacks in the division. The lack of a spot in the national championship game confirms for the thousandth time both the absurdity of the BCS system and the prejudice against the Southeastern Conference (and they try to make us feel like we're particularly prejudiced!).

- David Marsh racks up a few more national championships in Auburn swimming and ushers at church.

- The Florida Men's Basketball team coming out of nowhere to take down more established programs to clinch an NCAA tournament title for the SEC, as Billy Donovan leads one of the most developed and deep teams in the nation. Aggressive giants like Noah and Horford shut down the lane while Humphrey and Brewer press opposing shot-makers, and after a short jog down the court reveal that they can attack a team from anywhere on the court.

- The Florida Football team grabbing the National Championship, partially because everyone realizes the ridiculousness that Auburn went 13-0 in the SEC. Auburn, in a process of slight rebuilding and shaken from a close call with LSU, beats UF anyways. Florida still goes on to smoke Ohio State, thus seeding a trend that will develop across the university's athletic program for that year.

- Again, UF's MBB team grabs the national championship, being the first SEC team in over 50 years to repeat a championship while also being the first team to repeat with the original starters from the first year.

The list could go on if I wanted to focus on other teams from the SEC. I could also look at the intense damage most every SEC team does to sports programs from other conferences only to conted within the conference the next week. I could look at how every SEC conference game is as intense as the most heated rivalries of other conferences. I'm no sports historian, or even a sports nut, but lists like these explain why I think I might paint the exterior of my house the wonderful yellow and blue of our fine Southeastern Conference.

Correction on Part I

When I said in my Part I to throw all cargo pants in a fire, I mean capri pants. I love cargos, I hate capris. Sorry for the confusion. Part III is coming soon.

What Women Wear...Part II.

Talking about fashion on Cut the Chatter? How unmanly! Wrong. This is sweet vengeance for any male whose mother dressed him up in hideous garb for the celebration of Easter Sunday. Most men have been dressed by their mothers, and for those married guys, by their wives for far too long. So I think it's our turn to tell women what to put in their closets, and Chris and I are more than pleased to do so.

Women, in general, make better fashion choices than men. Men generally break fashion rules once a day, and so there aren't many expectations. But when women fall, they fall hard. It hurts, because in these moments you see that sometimes women can't see the forest for the trees, and when women make bad fashion decisions, everyone hurts.

You can express yourself by the way you dress. No matter what you wear (or don't wear) you are expressing something about yourself. I used to think this was a stupid way of thinking about fashion or whatever, but I'm pretty convinced that clothing is a very public means of expressing oneself. So let's look at some of the ridiculous ways girls express themselves.

Some girls are schizophrenic. I've noticed this in my world literature course, which seems to be about a third independent and about two-thirds Greek, at least in terms of fashion. Earlier this semester, when it was cold, girls would walk into class wearing a North Face jacket, jeans, and tennis shoes, obviously suggesting that they are not interested in their appearance that day. No biggie. Incidentally, these same girls have spent time layering makeup, picking out "glamorous" earrings, and fixing their hair. While I'm sure these girls are adept at doing all of these things, I think it must take at least 30 minutes to get it all right. Please. Your clothing is telling me you don't care, but the cake on your face says otherwise. You say you want to take it easy? I don't believe it.

Fashion can be a way to express yourself, but you might want to be sure that you are in fact expressing yourself and not some fashion designer out to make a buck. Every year, many girls at Auburn adopt a new handful of fashion trends. With such a quick turnover, you wonder if people are really expressing themselves or being cogs in a machine. And what does that fashion-machine express? Lets take a look at Ugg boots in Alabama. Obviously winterwear, these heavy slippers are such an aesthetic eyesore that I'm pretty sure they are only intended to be used where snow will cover up their hideous appearance. And in such climes, I am all for their use. But in Alabama? Seriously? I'm from Florida and all I need in the winter is a pair of socks and shoes, and those for only a month. I don't think that Ugg wearers actually look at these shoes and think, "Hey, these look so cute!" so much as "Everyone else has got them, I suppose I should fall in line." And what that says to me is that a girl is so caught up in the fashion whirlpool that she can no longer think for herself. Sure, this paragraph seems a little nasty, but I'll just remind you why it's important to fight fire with fire:



So how do you express yourself through fashion? Step 1: Don't shop at Urban Outfitters. A lot of people seem to think that UO offers an alternative wardrobe that runs counter to traditional fashion trends. The aesthetics seem to be different, but the methods remain the same. UO presents an image of alternative dress while relying on the same pulses of fashion and dress that clothe women so ridiculously as mentioned in this extensive Cut the Chatter exposé. T-shirts for $30, jeans scratched and torn to look like you've actually loved a pair down to its threads. Most UO wearers seem schizophrenic themselves because the prices are so high, but even worse is the UO representative who has a complete wardrobe provided by the company. It isn't really alternative, since people end up representing a different image created by someone else, instead of their own ideas and personality. I remember seeing urban outfitted people in New York City last Sping Break with their iPods. I can only assume that they were listening to real alternative music, like Jet or the Killers.

Chris will be closing out our series on fashion, and I hope you enjoy it. At the core of our frustration is the fact that so many people in their clothing choices have failed to express themselves, and express something usually far more ridiculous than themselves. Dress for yourself, not someone else.

What Women Wear...Part I.

Get excited, guys, the time has finally come. It's time to inform our girls on the thoughts we have on the clothes they wear. Now, I've probably already pissed off any girl that happens to read this. All I can say is that this is simply my opinion, and is not shared by all guys out there. (probably 96%, but whatever) And yes, I am completely aware that you're not trying to impress guys with every piece of clothing you put on. I completely understand that. We'll simply be discussing the outfit choices that obviously took some time to get ready. I am also aware that some girls can look good in anything. My final preface to this topic is that all girls are different. I know this. Height, build, skin tone, and even attitude can and do play major roles in our thoughts. (which I'm not saying you should care about)
We're gonna start with the obvious: shoes. Heels with jeans is not cool. I know it lengthens your legs and makes you a little taller, but we're just not digging it. I feel like some skin needs to be shown when wearing heels, even if it's just to mid-calf. There is, however, a limit to skin shown. Heels + short skirts = a bit scandalous. Heels are best worn with long to medium-length skirts. I'm not sure what they're called, but I'm also not a big fan of those heels that have ties that go around your ankle pretty high. Maybe it's just because it's new, but I don't like them. Shoes are obviously not my strong point, so I'll wrap this up. Flat shoes are the way to go. It doesn't matter if you're short. It's cool, we're ok with that. Just keep it simple, sandals are great. Make your shoes match your personality, and get something comfortable. All shoes really do is enhance your clothes, which I'm about to get into.
Pants have come along way these past few years, and I hate it! Honestly, if it was up to me, yall could wear jeans everywhere. You can, however, choose incorrectly on your jeans. Now I know there are is a ridiculous amount of styles of jeans, and it's hard to find a pair that fits right. I don't understand why women's jeans come in one number sizes. It doesn't make sense. No wonder it's so hard to find a pair. I mean, you find a pair that fits your body, but they're too long or short. They just assume that if you wear a 10 then you're taller than someone who wears a 8, which is obviously not always true. You buy the jeans that are just a little too long and get them hemmed, which is just a pain in the ass. With that being said, here's what I think you should consider when shopping for jeans. First of all, jeans that are too loose look weird. I'm not saying you should use pliers to put them on, they're just not made to be worn all baggy like that. It messes up your whole look. You don't see much of this, so if you think they're tight enough, they probably are. You should also consider how high on the hip they come. This is VERY different from girl to girl. Too high is no good, and too low is skanky. There is a happy-medium on every girl. I would say right at the hip bone is a good aiming point. As far as wide-bottom leg thing goes, I'm a fan of either. Colors are important as well. I feel like darker jeans are a bit more formal, and lighter jeans are for every day wear. I will touch on this subject with more detail in Part III of this series.
My personal favorite for girls pants is cargo-pants. I don't know why, I just love them. They have that casual "I don't care" look, yet they look good with a number of tops. That's just a personal thing, so I'll move on. Cargo-pants should all be thrown into a fire. Again, this is simply my opinion. I'm sure there are guys out there that like them, I just haven't met one. I don't mind them nearly as much now as I did when they first came out, so that's good. If you must wear cargos, don't wear jean cargos. Atleast wear some cacky ones or navy or whatever. Just don't wear jean cargo pants. I think half the battle of making capris look decent is the shoe you wear with them. I'll touch on this later. Maybe they'll grow on me over time, we'll see. Some trends, like these flowing ankle-length skirts that look like they have Indian symbols on them, I hated at first. They're actually kind of growing on me though. I think it's a classy throw-back look that when done correctly, can look pretty damn good. Again, we come back to shoes. Some sort of flat shoe must be worn with these skirts. I've seen girls wear high heels with them. They contradict each other, and it looks stupid. Moving on...skirts are actually quite simple, the shorter the better! ...............Haha, just kidding. Too short is trashy and quite unappealing. Anywhere from knee-length to moderate length is great. I personally like cacky skirts with a casual shirt. Any color skirt works though, it's all about the fit. Again, I am merely scratching the surface tonight. I'm going to elaborate much more on the topics I've already mentioned, and get into several others in Part III. It will include tops (all of them), make-up, and the ever-so-popular hair styles of today. My co-author, Daniel Pope, will be delivering Part II very soon. Sorry if I pissed anyone off, but not really.