Manly TV Character Role Models

I deleted my post about Manliest Rock Band because there are a lot of issues that would be hard to resolve. For example, James Hetfield of Metallica survived a 1500 degree pyrotechnic malfunction, but started writing like a little child. Guns N' Roses has Slash, which is a great manly boost, but then they've also got Axl Rose, who changed their style quickly to add strings. Slash, of course, got pissed, drunk, and left the band (proving that you can make smart decisions in drunken anger). Led Zeppelin set the bar for the manliness of early hard rock, but Robert Plant wore lots of jewelry. AC/DC and Black Sabbath are still some great bands, and their songs are certainly manly, but I'm sure I could do some research that would sink those ships too. For example, people think Ozzy is crazy for biting the heads off bats and birds, but Samson (virtually) ripped the head off of a lion. So Ozzy isn't anything big in the world of hand-to-hand (or hand-to-mouth) animal combat.. And AC/DC sung about sex a LOT, but Wilt Chamberlain (by his own profession) slept with over 20,000 women, so who looks stupid now? KISS was just stupid. They only have one halfway decent song and they wore make up. Oooh, make up makes them look like crazy people! No, it makes them looks stupid and wimpy. When I see Gene Simmons' tongue I want to cut it off.

So instead I will be doing a biopic of manly characters in television programs, and rating them according to manliness. As there is no secular/sacred dichotomy, I will be judging them according to several spheres of man-ethics (kills, stab wounds survived, etc.) which includes Christian living.

I will be looking at the lives of Jack Bauer (24), Horatio Caine (CSI:Miami), and Jim Halpert (the Office, who might seem to be an unlikely manly character, but I will prove my point).