What Women Wear...Part III

The time has come, it's finally here, the moment you've all been so anxiously waiting for...Part III of the do's and don'ts in the world of women's fashion. Now, we've addressed several issues from shoes to jeans to hair to belts. It's time to get into a little more detail. Alas, before I begin, let me just state that my opinion shouldn't matter one bit to you when it comes to this. And like I said, it is an opinion, not a fact. (though all guys will agree with me...whatever)
Tonight I was at a friends house when the topic of shoes came up in discussion. (And one more thing, I may repeat something that has already been discussed. Sorry) Two of my friends had recently purchased a pair of those shoes that are like full heels and look like they were woven together. It's the ones that you tie them like 6 inches up your ankle. I think I had previously said I didn't like them, and I'm still not a huge fan. Some girls do look good in them. They have to match your personality if I know you, and you assume a personality if I don't know you. Sorry if that makes no sense. Now, don't wear these shoes with shorts. Skirts, whether they're long or short (preferably long, like seriously) are the way to go with these shoes. Enough about that, let's talk about the long Polo shirt/dress things. Buy one in every color. I personally love them and have never met a guy that didn't. I think it's a texture thing, I don't know. They're just hot. Wear some sandals with it and you're set. Don't overformalize the shoes you wear with it. That says "I give a damn" when that's not the look you're going for. Moving on...
By the way, there's no order to this. I'm just thinking and writing, which brings me to jeans. I may be wrong here, but I think the high waist jeans are coming back in. Why, I have no idea. Fashion trends suck. As soon as something starts growing on me, it's not "in" anymore, though I stand by the fact that jeans and tanktop is always money. Anyhow, I'm not getting into jeans now, I touched on that already. Oh yeah, I forgot about another thing. At the Auburn game the other day, I saw a girl wearing a bra with clear straps. Why not just wear a strapless bra? Her straps were clear, but obviously still very visible which in essence defeated the purpose rendering it tacky? Is that the word? Whatever. I'm sure there's an answer for that and I'll be like "aaaaahhhh."
I'd like to have one of my friends (a girl) write a blog in response to this series. I'd love her to touch on all the issues I have and will continue to discuss, and talk about all the ridiculous things guys wear from day-to-day. Well, it's my bedtime. I'm gonna go ahead and post this and finish it tomorrow, where I will also get into personality traits as well. Haha, this is ridiculous. Peace

New Cooperative Blog

Attention ladies and gents,

Stephen Potts, Ben Pierce and myself are all working on a new blog together called Cerebrus. I hope you visit and enjoy it. It will probably end up being a lot of writing about theology, religion, and other cultural endeavors.

Check it out!

An Early Morning Rant on the Importance of Theology

It's very frustrating when people say as Christians, to Christians, "Can't we all just drop the disagreements and get along?" or, "It's about a relationship, not a religion!" Seriously, to my believing soul these statements sound like nails screeching on a chalkboard, not only because they're patently un-Christian, but also because they're full of double standards.

These people argue that the least common denominator of Christian living should be love, especially for the brothers and the sisters in the faith. This is fine, and to a large extent I agree with it, but before you can be living in love for other believers, it might be nice to have a helpful definition of what "love" really is, beyond a good emotional feeling or a few nice words. I suppose, were I to question one of these atheological types about the nature of love, they'd say that "God is love." And there you have a non-statement, if you take their perspective on the frivolity of theology seriously. God is love, but we must not know too much about God's nature, because it's just important to have a relationship. But if God is love, it does not stand to reason that God is only love, or that God is not wrath, which the Bible shows to be true. If we want to get some kind of a grip on love, it is worth studying the nature of God, Christ, and the Spirit. We should take it a step further, because if God is love, then he certainly acts lovingly, and we should see in what way he acts lovingly. If people choose to pursue a life of love without solid foundations for it as evidenced in the Bible, So really, the idea of dropping important theoogical discussions is foolish because we lose crucial and objective standards for our attempts to love each other. If you ignore theology, you can call whatever you want love, regardless of whether it actually is or not.

As far as the Christian religion goes, and it certainly is a religion and will be one till glory comes, it is important to note that it is a religion of relationships, namely of God to humanity and person to person. When people suggest otherwise, they're trying to make a religion for themselves. It would be funny to watch the double-standard, if it wasn't as sad as it is. The statement that it is all about relationships is, in error or fact, a religious, theological statement that is made to which others must assent. In fact, these people are some of the most religious people I know in their pleas to come to this conclusion.

Some argue that the nature of this relationship doesn't demand a theological or systematic perspective on Scripture. They seem to think that the nature of God is unnecessary for discussion, or that God is somehow beyond any kind of theological statement. While I appreciate their radical view of the transcendence of God, God has made himself known through his prophets and ultimately through his Son, and we may know true things about God using the means he has graciously left us. Call me cynical, but I really think this perspective is reflective of American laziness, not a real Scriptural or religious conviction. If I am in a relationship with someone, I want to know as much about them as possible. While, with fallen human beings, we may not always be able to take people at their word, or we see alterior motives for actions, God is not so deceptive. One of the things that makes the relationship of God to his people so sound is that God has given his people revelation to trust, and God cannot lie.

Christianity's uniqueness doesn't come from it's being a relationship instead of a religion. If you harp on the virtues of pursuing a relationship with God and neglecting the religious aspects of that pursuit, you're not being unique, just stupid. Every religion is concerned about man's relationship to a higher power, so seeking a relationship isn't exactly unique. The plurality of religions shows that there is something innately religious in man's nature, which is explained by Paul when he says that everyone knows God. The power of Christianity comes from the Gospel, in which, quoting Dorothy Sayers, God is both the "victim and the hero." It is unique in that God chose to suffer for our sake, and that our relationship to God is based on his work, not ours.

I often hear that theology won't make a difference in someone's life, or that theology puts God in a box. I don't like arguing from personal experience, but I think that even my basic knowledge of some aspects of theology have enriched my life to the point where such statements seem, to be honest, tragic. It has not put God in a box, but has opened my eyes to the gracious ways he relates to his people. But don't take my word for it. The writers of Scripture encouraged people to take the Bible seriously, and to really know what it says. Paul praised the Bereans for holding his teachings against the doctrines of the Old Testament, and towards the end of the New Testament Peter tells believers to be prepared to make a defense of Christian hope.

And it is the Christian hope which is so fundamental to our religion. I hear people saying "I just need to do this correctly," or "I'm really at a place where I need to focus on X right now," as if human achievements would bring some significant measure of instant holiness. While we strive for holiness and may obtain a small measure of it, we need to remember that we are fallen, and until Christ returns we will remain. Our relationship with God, from our eyes, is incredibly flawed. But Christ has saved us, and God sees His righteousness as ours. Christ promises to return and deliver us once and for all. That is a Scriptural perspective, a theological one. And it chances everything.

Deliver me (from bad music this summer)!

Cut the Chatter, Red 2, coming at you from Maryville, TN, the Smoky Mountain Mecca (not really, but sort of!).

Earlier this year I wrote a series of blogs on music and I haven't kept that up for a number of reasons. Even though I've heard some great bands, there usually isn't a comparable other worth crafting another episode of Battle of the Bands. There is some wonderful music this year, but either its been coming out at a trickle or I've been snooping around in the wrong places. As a result, I ended up spending a lot of time going through old classics while keeping an ear to the ground for some new releases that would stimulate my musical soul. I really enjoyed Andrew Bird when I got his album, but one person can't shoulder the load for the entire musical community.

Starters - Beirut
In any event, yesterday I drove from Auburn to Maryville, TN and that moment came. I downloaded the Beirut album (not the EPs) a while ago but I had never added them to my iTunes or burned a copy of the album for driving enjoyment (I don't have one of those bourgeois iPods...yet). While Beirut's Gulag Orkestar is a 2006 release that did not appear on Hawkins' roster for 2006, I think it would have been a top contender last year. I can't remember ever listening through an album a second time immediately after the first, but I spun Orkestar around again. It's something like indie meets world music from the Balkans, along with some Latin flair. The title track sounds like something you'd expect to hear in a Tarantino flick during the opening credits. I will definitely be listening to these guys for quite some time.

Heavy Hitters - Dinosaur Jr. and The Ponys
I grew up listening to oldies, country, and R&B, but I cut my musical teeth on rock classics like Queen, the Who, Rush, and Led Zeppelin, as well as shred oriented Dream Theater, Metallica, and Joe Satriani. Great solos, guitar hooks, and riffs aren't always prominent in the alternative world, and I mourn that. It doesn't frustrate me, because the alternative/indie world is really the only place where artists are independent, interested in saying something, and doing something on their own. But Dinosaur Jr. and the Ponys both seem to provide some solution to that problem. It is very seldom that I want to pick up my bass and learn a riff to an alternative groove, but "Double Vison" on the Ponys' Turn the Lights Out has me jonesing to get back to Pensacola to learn some riffs. Similarly, Dinosaur Jr.'s Beyond features great guitar licks, which might be some of the more significant solos in years. Earlier I had reviewed Deerhoof's Friend Opportunity, and while I enjoyed it more than Deerhunter, and not to be defamatory to that band, but it's presence as a rock band, even though they weren't completely going for that, is unconvincing. Not so with the Ponys and Dinosaur Jr.

If you have any interest in current rocking, check these guys out.

A Champion is Born: Chris Burdeshaw

Cut the Chatter Red 2 is going to provide the watching world with an interesting view into my life as I handle moving to Austin and making new friends. It's also going to give me a forum to comment on the friends I have had these past four years at Auburn. Sometimes, when you think of Auburn, you don't think of too much besides football and polo wearing boys and girls. But I recently discovered that there is one pretty neat thing about Auburn. A sports champion lives here, and his name is Chris Burdesahw.

I met Chris in a smoky bar one evening. He just outdrank a 350 lb. lineman. He then looked the bartender in the eye, didn't pay and left the bar, driving all the way home to Perry. I didn't see him until a year later when he started attending Auburn. When he came back I thought he was not just a great drinker, but kind of a jerk for endangering the lives of others. This was until I went to a bar with him once. He had 4 quadruple shots of vodka (in honor of John Bonham), and he walked a line. No harm done.

But at that point I only respected Chris. That was until I watched him play soccer, which is also known as the "Beautiful Game." But when Chris plays soccer, it's f@#%ing hot.

You won't see Chris on ESPN highlight reels. You won't read about him in the paper, and you won't see him on the cover of magazines. As a goalkeeper, Chris doesn't make those athletic, fingertip saves in the last mind-jarring minutes of a soccer game. You see, Chris likes to keep his sheets clean, and when an opponent is coming in for a shot on goal, Chris reads the situation and as soon as the ball leaves the strikes foot, it's in Chris' loving care. It's all about positioning for Chris, which is why you won't see him on any ESPN Top Ten's anytime soon. There's nothing to show, unless you want to watch opponents mouth the f-bomb as the camera follows.

When the Coaches' Poll was asked, "Who is most likely to break the Madden curse?" they answered resoundingly, "Chris Burdeshaw." The reported reminded the coaches that the Madden curse in fact applied to [American] football. Bobby Knight, longtime NFL fan, picked up a folding chair and decapitated the reporter.

Most recently, some friends of ours ran a marathon. Burdeshaw remarked that this was nothing and that he could do it any day of the week. The girl marathon runners (let it be known that they ran a half marathon, 13.1 miles) challenged Chris to run a marathon. Chris, not bother to accept (or to exchange his flip-flops for running shoes), finished half a Gatorade and one Caramello brick and took of running. Chris returned from his full marathon in merely an hour over the girls' time for a half-marathon.

Folks, I am proud to blog with Champion Chris Burdeshaw. Be sure to notice his championship t-shirt. I told you I would give you proof.

Auburn Top Fives, Courses

So I'm done. I don't have my diploma, but I have taken all my finals, turned in all my papers, and am in the process of saying those dreadful goodbyes. This past few weeks have turned into a time of reflection on the past four years, and what better place to opine about my Auburn experience than my fine, oft-visited blog?

Unlike other Top Fives, the following Top Five Courses won't be listed in order of most important to least, but rest assured, if it's on this list, you should take the course or mourn it for not being around.

1. Public Speaking, with Laura Beth Daws

Ms. Daws is no longer an instructor, as far as I know, so you've already missed out on the best core class that Auburn has to offer. Most people moan and groan their way through Public Speaking, but Ms. Daws helped make this course one of the most enjoyable I've ever taken. The members of the class were stellar as well. Everyone was in class before it began just to socialize with the other people in the class, and it wasn't long before everyone knew each other and the course took on a life of its own. My speeches were pretty simple, but creative, which Daws encouraged. I related myself to a coffee cup, went overtime on a speech about the Alabama constitution thanks to class interest, and tried to persuade people to drink more, not less, coffee. But the crowning achievement was the group project in which we identified a problem on Auburn's campus and sought to solve it. Topics like parking were off-limits, but on-campus transit systems were free game. So my group, affectionately dubbed "The Corner Group" because of our location in the class, chose to speak on Auburn's need for a slip-n-slide/zipline system for on campus transit. We came up with the idea as a half-serious joke, but Ms. Daws challenged us to pursue the idea. And so we spoke, in A-grade form, on the costs, benefits, and awesomeness of a campus in which the concourse was a giant yellow slide and zipline towers dotted the landscape. Instead of showing up in formal attire, like our other classmates (whose presentations were interesting and thoughtful in their own particular idioms), we walked into class dressed in climbing gear or swimwear with towels slung over our shoulders. We presented last, and our classmates thanked us for going last, since our speech was so phenomenal.

2. Science Fiction as Intellectual History, with Dr. Guy Beckwith

Dr. Beckwith is amazing. On my teacher evaluation I wrote that if he taught a religion course, he'd probably convert me to whatever religion he taught. Mix a great professor with a great subject and you have an hour of awesome every meeting. We journeyed through Science Fiction from Mary Shelley's Frankenstein to William Gibson's cyberpunk hit Neuromancer, making wonderful stops in between. Beckwith covered an amazing amount of relevant territory, always relating it back to our own experiences. For example, when he lectured on Henry Ford, whose ideas and practices significantly influenced Aldous Huxley's Brave New World, he talked about Ford's idea of mass consumption. Ford gave dedicated workers an extra day for the weekend, Saturday, so they could go into stores and consume goods there, thus driving local economies. We talked about the Frankenstein trope, my name for the idea that science, devoid of ethics and for some authors, religion, will create monsters, whether those monsters are Frankenstein's demon or the atomic bomb, which Walter J. Miller discusses in A Canticle for Liebowitz. The class was filled with a mix of liberal arts nerds and science and engineering geeks, so class discussions were quite interesting, to say the least. If you took the course, you know what I'm talking about.

3. Eastern Central Europe in the 20th Century, Dr. Cathleen Giustino

Czechoslovakia (now the Czech Republic and Slovakia), Romania, Bulgaria, Yugoslavia (now fragmented into like a million states), Poland, Hungary. Who knows anything about these countries? I didn't going into the course, and when Dr. Giustino asked us to describe our knowledge, I wrote "I think a lot of ethnic cleansing goes on there." But over the course ... of the course I began to appreciate the complexities of that ignored region, the cultural diversity and production, and some of the gruesome parts of that region's 20th century experience. I also was challenged to get rid of my traditional notions of democracy and communism as practiced by the United States and the Soviet Union. Of course, Russia was totally ridiculous, but the U.S. was comparable on that account. I wonder why we mythologize the history, even recent, of the U.S. but are so harshly critical of some of our modern politicians, as if this sort of national-health-care-everyone-gets-a-free-sponge-implant silliness wasn't present in some other form previously. I wrote two papers for this course that contributed to my acceptance at Texas. I wrote on the post-WWII "wild transfers" of ethnic Germans from Czechoslovakia. After the war, many Germans were forced to deathmarch back to their country, and death tolls ranged from hundreds of thousands to one million. You never hear about that, though. I also wrote about the Plastic People of the Universe, a psychadelic rock band (genre, not adjective), a band that went against the party line in Czechoslovakia in the late 60s/early 70s and ended up provided an infrastructure crucial to circulating anti-government publications. A fun course. Hey, it got me into grad school. And we got to watch No Man's Land, a dark comedy about the ethnic conflicts in Serbia. Right on. Sort of.

4. Europe from the Renaissance to the French Revolution, Dr. Donna Bohanan
This was my first history course that counted towards my major. I took it in the fall of my sophomore year. My first semester at Auburn I didn't have any history courses (I was an EE major for numerous reasons, and despite the jokes I hold nothing against them and their higher starting pay). My second semester I took both World History courses and realized that I wanted to a professor. Bohanan's course sealed the deal. We talk about everything imaginable, from Renaissance activity to the theology of the Reformers (which I was particularly stoked about) and the French Revolution, with the Girondin and Montangnards or however they're spelled. Dr. Bohanan is a great professor too, that demands a lot of her students but also refreshes them at crucial points in the semester, even if it's just her personality. If you're looking for an elective that is a great course, you should take this one. You'll learn some great history and the coursework won't kill you.

5. The Civil Rights Movement, Dr. David Carter
I was mildly interested in the Civil Rights Movement when I took this course, but one of our readings became one of my favorite books of my whole Auburn experience. Dr. Carter won't provide you with answers about race; instead he'll teach you how to ask some of the important questions yourself. If you want a better understanding of the race relations (or lack thereof that we sometimes see), it's probably better to take his course than watch televised events of accidental shootings and violence. I learned about the multi-faceted nature of the movement, from Dr. King's SCLC to the SNCC students that thought he stole the show while doing little community work. Then you see in the late sixties how the movement fragmented into black power, feminism, or pure idealism. The history of the movement is a great way to examine some of the ideas about race that our nation has historically and presently, and may be one of the best ways to appreciate the widely differeing experiences of both whites and blacks, and now Latino/as and other ethnic groups in society, expressing a legitimate concern for everyone.

Honorable Mention
Existentialism, Dr. Bill Davis
Dr. Davis doesn't teach this course anymore, and I don't think I'm much more sure of what existentialism is now than I did before I took it. But I did make a lot of friends which eventually cost me several hours as I would bump into them, and then get coffee and argue about who knows what. It was all very unplanned, and I suppose you could argue that was what the course taught us.

Well, I've graduated Auburn for real and I've been inspired to do a lot of thinking in the past two weeks of not posting. But when I think about the past two weeks and what they've taught me, it's that nothing reminds you of how much you hate Michael W. Smith as when you experience graduation with people who grew up on that stuff. Not that I avoided Smith completely, but I also believe in sanctification.